I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
