try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I had to cum in my sink.
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