Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
