then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
