he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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