awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Your cock deserves a montage
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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