he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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