No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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