thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Randomize
