I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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