This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize