is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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