I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
