I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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