i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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