batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
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