i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
