doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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