I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
