having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
