for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
