how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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