So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
