Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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