2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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