i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize