Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
