I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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