My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
