Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
