Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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