you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
