Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
