So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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