Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize