i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
