So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My pussy is not your playground.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
