I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
