I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
