Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
