Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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