so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
