Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
