I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
