He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize