Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
