I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
