I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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