Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
