Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
