I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
