Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
