I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
