can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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