considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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