you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
