i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
