if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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