Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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