Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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