Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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