when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
