what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
