kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I didn't notice because vodka
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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