Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
