If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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