why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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