no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
