Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
