yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
