everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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