Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
