We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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