Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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