whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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