What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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