I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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